


Read

by Chastened



Category: Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: First Dates, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:27:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28440123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chastened/pseuds/Chastened
Summary: Doubts are discussed in some late-night texts.
Relationships: Chasten Buttigieg/Pete Buttigieg
Comments: 5
Kudos: 31





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**Author's Note:**

> Been musing over my 2020 and thinking of my 2021, and couldn't stop thinking about these two nervous nerds and their anxiety over a blank slate and an unknown future. Hope whatever's next puts our fears to rest. Happy New Year. Thank you for reading all my bullshit this year. - c

Aug 27

PB: Are you nervous

CG: Why aren’t you using punctuation  
CG: Not like you

PB: I’m not sure.

CG: Feeling unsure?  
CG: Haha, jinx

PB: I’m just…  
PB: I’m better when I’m writing.  
PB: Does that make any sense?

CG: I think so, but… talk to me anyway

PB: In person, I’m…  
PB: I’m just  
PB: The awkward, nerdy professors’ son

CG: *who I’m in love with

PB: Who goes on too long about shit like wastewater

CG: *and who I’m in love with

PB: (who gives a shit about wastewater?)  
PB: You’re sweet.  
PB: You’re always sweet.  
PB: But…

CG: ?  
CG: But what Peter

PB: I don’t know.  
PB: I get to choose my words when I write to you.  
PB: See the words before I send them.  
PB: And I’ve just been thinking, what if…

CG: You ok?

PB: Don’t tell

CG: Never  
CG: Come here  
CG: Come to bed with me  
CG: Just brushed my teeth  
CG: Curled up under a blanket waiting

PB: What if I’ve...broken somehow, and this is the only way I’ll ever be able to express love?  
PB: From a distance.  
PB: Never looking at you, or… in any other way.  
PB: I’ll write a hell of a love letter.  
PB: A hell of a love poem.  
PB: But letters and poems aren’t enough to keep someone.  
PB: No matter how hard I'd try.

CG: Peter

PB: Let me finish  
PB: How long have you dreamt of meeting in-person?

CG: Since the first day

PB: Same.  
PB: I’ve always dreamt about your coming here.  
PB: I suppose because home means so much, and you mean so much.  
PB: I’ve had dreams about it.  
PB: VIVID dreams  
PB: I can imagine the sound of your footsteps on the porch steps.  
PB: And I’m on the other side of the front door frozen and…  
PB: I don’t know; we’ll get in a car - my car or your rental…  
PB: We’ll go for dinner  
PB: But in person, it turns out we won’t have anything to say.  
PB: All we’ll hear is everyone else talking all around us.  
PB: Or you won’t like what I say or my voice or my skin or how I move or…  
PB: I don’t know what you wouldn’t like  
PB: But there would be something  
PB: And that would make this… False somehow.  
PB: It will shatter me if this was false.  
PB: What if this summer was just me being broken?

CG: What if this summer was just *me* being broken?

PB: Apologies for even bothering you about this, I’m sure I’m overthinking.  
PB: How can you be the broken one?  
PB: You’ve dated for years.  
PB: You know how to act.  
PB: You know how to fall in love. You’ve fallen in love before.

CG: Yes.  
CG: But in a different way  
CG: I wasn't expecting you

PB: How did I make it to my fucking thirties with no frame of reference?

CG: Ok so look  
CG: Maybe we won’t have anything to talk about  
CG: But…………..  
CG: What if we do?  
CG: What if we talk through the whole date?  
CG: What if I see you after and  
CG: Reach for your hand  
CG: When you’re least expecting it?  
CG: What happens then?

PB: I don’t know.

CG: Do you trust me?

PB: Yes.  
PB: yes

CG: So question  
CG: Would you want me to kiss you?  
CG: If things go well?  
CG: You can say no

PB: I think...  
PB: I think I would.

CG: You’ve never kissed someone you were in love with.

PB: No.  
PB: Shit, so embarrassing

CG: It’s a big responsibility, being someone’s first  
CG: So let’s leave it, if I kiss you tomorrow…

PB: Yes?

CG: ...That’ll be my way of telling you I still love you in real life, too  
CG: No words or writing or contract required

PB: I love you.

CG: (But I can’t guarantee I won’t use words once I walk you up those porch steps and gently walk you up against the back of the door and then kiss you and kiss you and kiss you...)  
CG: I always like seeing those three little dots come and go when you’re thinking

PB: How do you always know what to say?

CG: Because  
CG: I know you, Peter

PB: Yes.

CG: Do you think that means this is real?

PB: Maybe.  
PB: Maybe it does.

CG: Here, come next to me  
CG: I’m going to have to fall asleep soon  
CG: I have a busy day tomorrow  
CG: (I don’t know if I told you but I’m getting coffee with a hot mayor)

PB: Really

CG: I might be in love with him even  
CG: Terrifying, but I'm making do

PB: Relatable

CG: I need my beauty rest first, though, so

PB: You don’t need any beauty rest.

CG: Flatterer  
CG: Ok, going to sleep now for real  
CG: Assuming you’re ok

PB: I’m okay.  
PB: You made me feel okay

CG: I’ll stay up if you’re not  
CG: Not a big deal

PB: Go to sleep.  
PB: Love you, love you, love you.

CG: Ok I’m trusting you  
CG: Love you x 3 too  
CG: See you tomorrow  
CG: (!)

PB: !!!  
PB: Good night

Aug 28

PB: And good morning.

CG: Good morning  
CG: I love you  
CG: Ready for what's next?


End file.
